


The one they miss the most

by MSupernatural



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 10:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5623582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSupernatural/pseuds/MSupernatural
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the Christmas break of his fifth year, Harry can't stand Sirius' suffering anymore, so he creates a plan to give his godfather a chance to say goodbye to the one person both of them miss the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one they miss the most

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me.  
> Originally posted at FF.net.

As he stood in front of the mirror, Harry ran his fingers through his hair once more. He did that often without even thinking about it, but now that he was supposed to do it willingly, he was having a hard time managing to do so naturally. He gave his clothes a last look and, with a sigh, he decided that things weren't getting any better, so he could only hope that the plan would be as effective as he wanted.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" From where he was standing, Harry didn't have to turn around to see his former professor Lupin sat on his bed, for he could see his reflection on the mirror. Still, he decided to turn so as to stare at the man who he had come to care so much in the last two years.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Harry said as he moved to get something he had left on his nightstand and then returning to the mirror. "I can't stand seeing Sirius suffering like that, professor. He looks at me and I know he wants to see... Him. And it just breaks his heart when he sees that He's not here anymore." He opened the lid of the small object he was holding and peered inside.

"He loves you, Harry-" Remus Lupin started with a sigh, but Harry quickly interrupted him.

"I know he does." He said as he used his finger to scoop something from inside the small object. "But I love him too, and I don't want him to suffer so much."

"But Harry," Remus said softly. He knew the boy was set on doing it, but he felt he had to try. "Don't you think that pretending to be your father will only hurt him more?"

Harry didn't reply immediately as he focused on putting the contact lenses on his green eyes. It was a difficult task, considering he had to do it without his glasses, but he eventually managed to do it the correct way, putting his glasses back on.

"Azkaban drained him. He's barely sane most of the times. I'm just going to give him an opportunity to say goodbye, maybe that will make him a bit better." Harry said, adjusting the clothes he had gotten from one of the Potter Vaults. They had been his father's and they were a bit too big for him, but he thought they fit him well enough. He heard Remus sighing again and he knew his honorary uncle would stop trying to discourage him from going through with his plan. "So, how did my father say hi to Sirius again?"

He focused on himself on the mirror again. The absence of the scar was a welcome change, and he could only hope Hermione didn't kill him for using her make-up to make the blasted thing disappear. The clothes were also weird to him, as fashion had changed a lot in the past 20 years, but he felt warm and happy for wearing clothes that his father had worn. However, the most different thing for him was seeing hazel eyes staring back at him as he looked at his reflection. The warmth that he felt was escalating, a very nice feeling settling inside him. Those hazel eyes seemed to fill him with happiness and hope, and he couldn't help but stare back at them, not even noticing when he lost control of himself in his peaceful and quiet contemplation. As he looked deep into his eyes, he saw them sparkle just the way they should.

He turned to look at Remus with a playful smirk. James Potter was known for his carefree attitude, right?

"Well, he used to say 'Padfoot, you mangy mutt', and then-" Remus started speaking, but when he saw Harry looking at him like that he completely lost the ability to speak. The mischievous smirk screamed 'Prongs', and he couldn't help but feel his heart painfully constrict inside his chest. He could feel the wolf within whining with longing as he sat there, staring at his best friend's son who, right now, looked just like his best friend. He only got back to his senses when Harry spoke again.

"Let's go, Moony, my old pal. There's a mutt needing to get some treats."

As Harry's smirk grew and he crossed the room and opened the door to go find Sirius, Remus stood up and ran after him, still stunned by how close to James Harry had managed to get. Even the voice he had been able to fake! Maybe, just maybe... this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Harry and Remus entered the kitchen at the same time, and Remus couldn't help but feel relieved that everybody else had gone to St. Mungos to visit Arthur, as Harry shouted, at the top of his lungs and using James' deep voice, "OI, PADFOOT, YOU MANGY MUTT!".

Sirius had been calmly reading The Prophet, and quite visibly almost had a heart attack. He jumped up and threw the newspaper away.

Sirius couldn't believe his eyes when he saw HIM standing there, with his characteristic grin, the confident aura automatically filling the room. He could feel his whole body starting to shake out of control. He wanted to say something, he wanted to do something. He wanted to hug his best friend, there was a part of him saying that was impossible and that it was a trap and that he should just attack this impostor, but he could do nothing. He just stood there, drinking the image of his brother in all but blood.

"P-Prongs?" He managed to stutter, his voice breaking painfully. Remus was looking from one to the other, his heart beating fast. Harry had a confident air around him and a smug grin on his face, the kid surely was the hell of an actor. Sirius, on the other hand, looked about to black out completely. His whole body clearly shook, and the only word he had managed to croak out had somehow been filled with disbelief and hope at the same time.

"Who else, mate?" Harry said with a chuckle. The chuckle sent shivers down both Remus' and Sirius' spines. "How have you been, Padsy, my old chap?" Harry said.

"J-James... H-how... H-how are y-you here?" Sirius ignored Harry's question completely, taking two steps forward and stopping right in front of his... godson. Harry chuckled again.

"Well, Padfoot, I noticed you missed me, so I decided to visit you." Harry chuckled a third time. "Couldn't keep you from my presence for so long, could I?" Despite the meaning of the words, there wasn't arrogance in what Harry said. There was just affection and a hint of sadness.

Sirius tentatively put his hand on Harry's shoulder, his eyes filling with tears. His breath caught when he felt something solid under his hand, and he closed his eyes as a single tear fell, crossing his cheek and finally dripping on his shirt. When he opened his tearful eyes again as if to be sure he hadn't imagined anything, he saw his best friend still staring at him. His eyes also held tears, and Sirius' heart gave a leap when he saw hazel sparkling at him.

With one swift move, Sirius grabbed Harry on a tight hug, lifting him from the ground. It took seconds for him to start positively wailing apologies. "I'm so sorry, Prongs, I'm sorry, I missed you so much, Prongs, I'm sorry, Jamie, JAMES-" His voice was muffled by James' old jumper as Sirius had his face buried into Harry's neck, but it was still possible for Remus to understand what his best friend was saying. Remus himself was having a hard time trying to keep strong as tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he saw Sirius holding Harry in a bone crushing hug and Harry hugging him back. He was impressed that, despite all those year inside Azkaban, Sirius was still able to lift Harry like that.

Eventually, but not after some good few minutes, Sirius fell silent, only breathing in and out. The scent, James' sweet scent that reminded him of forests and brooms and family and happiness and love, filled his body completely, and he couldn't get enough of it.

"Hey, Pads. Let me down, please." Unwillingly, Sirius did so, only taking one step back. His face was a mess, tears having stained it all with salty water, which made Harry chuckle. "Don't you go all gay on me, Padfoot, you bloody shirtlifter" Harry said, using his hands to clean Sirius' face. The dog animagus smiled tearfully, but his eyes still held sadness. His mind was numb, having embraced the madness of the situation completely.

"Now, come here," Harry said, but closing the short distance between them before Sirius could do anything. Harry lifted his arm and... gave Sirius a slap on the back of his head.

"Ow, what was that for?" Sirius said, taking another step back and rubbing his head sheepishly, while staring bewilderedly at those angry hazel eyes.

"That's for apologizing unnecessarily. You know I hate that." Harry said, relaxing again.

Remus chuckled, Harry had done his research well, James really did hate it when people kept apologizing. He had always been one to act, and not say (or think, sometimes).

"You listen to me, Paddy, you have nothing to apologize for. How thick are you? It's all the rat's fault. His and Voldemort's. Do you understand me?" Harry said with finality. Sirius only nodded, which made Harry smile once more. "Good."

They stayed there, in the middle of Sirius' kitchen, without saying anything to each other for almost a whole minute. Eventually, though, Sirius spoke again.

"Prongsy... J-James... I-I miss you s-so much!" He managed to spit out, with voice breaking repeatedly. Tears still flowed freely from his eyes as he stared at his best friend.

"I know, Sirius." Harry said with a sigh. "I miss you, too. But I don't want you to forget that I'm always looking after you." He turned to look at Remus. "All of you."

That made Remus shiver inside, and he had to remind himself repeatedly that it was just acting. A bloody flawless acting.

"And that's why I don't want you to be sad because I'm not here." Harry continued, grabbing Sirius' arm and bringing him closer to Remus. "I'm happy, I'm with my Lily-flower, and we get to watch over you. We are always around, checking up on you. But you make me, or rather, us, sad when you blame yourselves or when you get sad because we are gone." Both Sirius and Remus nodded, the latter not even noticing he had started to play along. "I need you both to take care of my son. You two know how much I love Harry, so, please, keep him safe and remind him how much I love him." Harry looked down with a sad expression. "I know that, sometimes, he questions himself if we did, and I just wish someone would tell my Prongslet that we do. So very much. We died for him, and we would die again, I'm sure I would, more than a thousand times, until the very end."

"Don't worry, Prongs, I will take care of him. We will." Sirius said with resolution, looking at Remus, who just nodded. Harry lifted his head and looked at them, with another grin.

"I believe in you." He seemed to remember something as he widened his eyes. "Oh, and Lily asked me to tell you, and I quote, 'don't you dare let Snivellus hurt my son, or there will be hell to pay'. Her words, I swear." The three of them laughed a bit before Harry cleared his throat. "Okay, okay, maybe she didn't call him 'Snivellus', but the rest she said exactly like that."

They stood there in amicable silence for some seconds before Harry moved and enveloped Remus on a hug. To say the werewolf was surprised would be an understatement, but he managed to return the embrace, albeit a bit uncomfortably. "I'm sorry for letting the rat make me believe you were betraying us. I love you, Mooney, don't forget that".

Remus only nodded, trying his hardest to swallow the lump that had formed midway through his throat. His chant of 'this is not Prongs, it's Harry' was the only thing keeping him sane. Harry took a step back from him and gave him James' characteristic crooked smile. The werewolf could only look at him, trying to hold back the tears that defiantly formed in his eyes.

Harry then turned to Sirius who was once again positively bawling in suffering and longing. The messy haired boy didn't even have time to open his mouth before Sirius held him in another bone-crushing hug.

"Please, no, no, don't... Don't go, Prongs, don't go, I need you, James, don't... Please, Jamie, I love you, you can't go, I- Please, Prongs, PLEASE-" Sirius' rant was muffled by Harry's neck as his godfather had buried his face onto it, but it was still very easy to understand what the man was saying. This was the first time that Remus got really scared that this whole thing was blowing out of proportion. He had considered the possibility that Sirius had gone slightly insane because of his time stuck inside Azkaban, without properly grieving his best friend's death, but he didn't believe Sirius would be affected so much. Maybe he really had underestimated Sirius' pain.

Harry patted Sirius' back, trying to hold him as tightly as he could while the man still mumbled now incoherent pleas. The boy calmly whispered soft things until Sirius' sobs reduced and eventually stopped. They didn't part, though.

"I love you, Padfoot. I feel I haven't told you this enough times and I need you to understand that." Sirius didn't do anything at first, but finally nodded into Harry's neck. "Good." Harry pushed Sirius a little bit so that they could face each other. Once more, Harry used his thumbs to clear Sirius' face from all the tears that covered it. "Remember, Sirius, my dear brother. I'll never leave you. Ever. I'll be worse than Minnie on our tails in fourth year when she thought we were preparing that Halloween prank." At that, both Harry and Sirius chuckled, even if a bit bittersweetly, while Remus looked at Harry with curiosity.

Harry's new hazel eyes stared deep into Sirius' grey ones. "I'll be around, watching you, and I'll be around inside Harry. So I need you to continue living, because I don't blame you, not for a single minute. And I want Sirius back. I don't want this shell of you, suffering and brooding. I want my Siri back!" Harry said, his eyes looking defiant as if expecting the dog animagus to contradict him. Not very surprisingly, though, Sirius only nodded with a sad, small smile, tears forming in his eyes again. "Goodbye, Padfoot, my dear old pal. And remember, the dog star is siriusly the brightest of my sky." Harry said, looking intently at Sirius with James' crooked smile.

Much to Remus' surprise, Sirius laughed a bit at that. "And you are really very deer to me, Prongs." They both laughed as Remus only stared with his eyes wide.

Harry gave Sirius another hug and turned to look at Remus, giving him a wink. He then turned around and left the room. Remus looked at Sirius, who had a big smile on his face, the biggest since he had escaped from Azkaban, and tears were still running from his eyes.

Sirius moved to sit on one of the chairs, still sporting a big smile, but Remus didn't see it as he had already run after Harry. He entered Harry's room to see the boy staring at himself in front of the mirror. Upon feeling Remus entering, Harry turned to look at him.

They stared at each other, Lupin looking as confused as he felt and Harry still sporting James' smile and sparkling, mischievous hazel eyes. As much as he tried, Remus couldn't make himself utter a single word, his mouth only opening and closing as he tried to find what to say. Before he could do make his mind up, though, Harry winked once more ('had Harry even winked at us before?' was Remus' only thought) and turned around to look at himself again. Hazel eyes stared at hazel eyes before Harry used his fingers to remove the lenses. He then stared back at himself, no longer smiling and his eyes no longer sparkling. Green eyes stared at green eyes.

Harry blinked a couple of times before turning around to look at Remus, his face wearing a confused look. It surely didn't look as confused as Remus', though.

"So, prof- Sorry, it's hard to remember you don't teach anymore- R-Remus, how did my father say hi to Sirius again?"

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I've been taught that, if there are two things we will never understand, those are the depth of human emotions, and how much influence the spiritual world has on our physical one. I hope you liked this and you didn't find it too... far-fetched. hahaha If you could, please, leave a review with your comments, I'll be forever grateful! Thank you a million!


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